Hello all. Long time no see again. Well, there is so much going on in my life... Unfortunately, less of them are good.
I am going through my artist crises again. I have a fear of drawing... (i know that this sounds a bit confusing). Because i didn't draw in a long time. Why,... because I live in a unhealthy environment in my home, with only a single working parent (my parents are getting divorced btw) , so I had to work at the first job that came up. Well, I had a small amount of luck that it was in my expertise, and I was so happy for a little while.... But, I got harassed on that job, big time, by my Boss... I was, and still am, so frustrated, because i dedicated my whole energy to do that job as a graphic designer, that i came home every day exhausted, and i couldn't hold my pencil.... I held on there for 6 painful months... And I had some private jobs that I neglected, because I didn't have the time, or the straight to finish them... Eventually, I got fired ( framed to get fired). I was a bit sad, because of the money, but in the same time glad that I don't have to suffer that harassment any more.

Here in Serbia is extremely hard to get a job. Especially as an artist, because we are not that appreciated. U can get a job if you have friends on high places, or through political activity or group ( in which I don't have interest ). And especially if you are a woman. In that case, the employer would like for a female to have at least 25 years, to have at least 20 years of experience, and no children (and no intentions to have one ever)...

Life this year has been very hard for me. I don't have support of my parents, because their life are at stake now... ( cause they are two spoiled brats). I have o take care of my two little sisters. So basically, in my home, I am a wife, a father, a sister, a mother ... everything but myself... And that's devastating... On the top of that, i have no place to draw, cause i share a room with my sister...And all 5 of us live in a box of matches ( that is a synonym here in Serbia when you live in a small Home). But i occasionally go to my BF's Home and try to draw in peace.... But I can't invade his home because He's mother is a single parent, and has to support two suns, who are finishing their master degree, also in a small home like mine.

I'm going through a severe identity crisis right now, and going through a lot of self doubt... Because I have the feeling that I failed as an artist, have failed everyone, and most important - failed myself...
Now, I try to do some basics, drawing human anatomy ( which t have almost completely forgotten  )... Baby steps... Every time I draw a face, an eye , a line... every time a have a severe panic attack...  And it is a terrifying feeling...

I wrote this to ... I  don't know... feel better... but i feel more sadness, and pain, and anger. Because, I'm not a person who takes anything for granted, and I'm a fighter, and I don't stand in one place and whine about everything and every obstacle that stands before me.... But I feel, that every time I take a step forward, i take 10 backwards....


So that was about it... what is going on in my life ... I wanted my fans (if a had ones ) to have some feedback of me. Because I think that is the right thing to do....

Luv ya all.


 

Hi  y'all So, I want to do some free commissions these days for practice on my new wacom tablet. I will accept 3 requests of you that are interested. So send me a note
Also I'm planing do some featuring these days so beware xD

I'm so proud to tell you, that the funding for the future otaku centre Sakurabana is doing well, but we still need more money. So you can share this link www.indiegogo.com/projects/cul… on your Facebook, Twitter, Vine and Tumblr accounts so people who are interested can help, and to be aware that, here  in Serbia, exists a Cultural Center, a home for every otaku, mangaka and every geek

More info of Sakurabana and the whole campain you will find in this video

Also, you can contact my dear friend for any info of this campaign.
If you are interested, you can see the awesome perks, and by purchasing awesome artwork, you are will be able to help the funding the campaign.
The list of perks are in this journal Help us build a manga cultural center in Serbia!Check out our campaign to build an Otaku cultural center!
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/cultural-center-sakurabana/x/8646716
Check out our perks BELOW THE VIDEO

 
PERKS:


As you can see , we have started an Indiegogo campaign, with a goal to make a geek culture center for all the lovers of Japanese culture and tradition, pop-culture and all its aspects in general. This is something of utmost importance for young people in the Balkans, and the entire region.
Without exaggeration, this is a campaign of my lifetime. 
We managed to improve our counties image in the world, by having some of the most talented artists and cosplayers the world has seen, we managed to help socially rejected youth find friends, fight depression, express their creativity, find meaning in life. 
We managed to meet friends from across the planet, and connect into various and on the video too.

And , another great friend of mine is preparing a 500 pt giveaway for all of you so be free to check this journal if you are interested to participate<da:thumb id="488807875"/>.


And while you are here, hopefully  reading all of this xD you can check these awesome artists and their work:
:iconOlovni:

Today is my fifth year on Deviant Art.  

Hi all! So, my dear friends in my favorite cultural organization in Serbia are dealing with some existence trouble. Because life in Serbia isn't easy for everyone, because of all  the floods and, well the financial trouble in general this country is dealing with. As you can see , they have started an Indiegogo ( www.indiegogo.com/projects/cul… ) campaign, with a goal to make a geek culture center for all the lovers of Japanese culture and tradition, pop-culture and all its aspects in general. This is something of utmost importance for young people in the Balkans, and the entire region.

I want to, at least spread the word. Because I have many dear friends who spend their lives to build such organization for Serbia's young citizens. A place where they will be not criticized to be different , where they and their work can be appreciated.

So, I'm providing a PERK. What does that mean? Basically I will draw, design anything that you want, and all the financial support goes to them.

More details of the project you will find in this video

So you can contact me or my dearest friend you might know   if your interested to help. You can, at least , spread the word.

Thank you for you're time.